A TRUE CALLING…

 

This spiritual impulse is the strongest thing, isn’t it, if it’s truly an authentic impulse and not contrived out of the mind. The true authentic impulse arrives mysteriously, and on its own terms. For a lot of us it seems to come out of nowhere.

 

Of course as soon as the impulse is born and really starts taking hold, mind wants to get in on it. And if we’re not really hip on mind’s agendas, it can really steal away the pureness of the true calling. It can hijack all that authenticity and make the true calling into the biggest circus of should and shouldn’ts, dos and don’ts, higher and lower, you get the picture. All these crazy ideas do is serve to fertilize the creation of the spiritual ego, the one that knows, and the one that uses all the many ways of spiritual idealism to feel validated.

 

I know all about this. I found myself immersed and hijacked. I found myself so needing the “spiritual” environment to be a certain way, the people I associated with to be like-minded. But paradoxically none of these ideas ever come to be. Well, maybe once in a while but just enough for mind to say, “Yes, this is how it should be!” Then shun the rest of the 99% of life. Ouch.

 

But the true calling, the one that is born out of the true you, isn’t put off by any of mind’s games. It just keeps on. And funny thing, all minds attempts at manipulating the spiritual search, can really serve to intensify and give some real juice to the longing. It serves to make us more aware of our own suffering, our own lack of control. This awareness of suffering is the impetus to push us deeper- to turn inward. The true calling has us now like “Prey in the tiger’s mouth”. It’s the perfect place for inquiry, because you can’t really get a grip on much of anything anymore. Not really, not if you are being honest. You’re being consumed, digested, all those great ideas mind had about your spiritual life, chomped and chewed to smithereens. So what is it that’s being consumed?

 

And then it’s like you’re swallowed. The big open space of what used to be filled with mind’s agendas now has permission to reveal itself. Inquiry is like that. Ask and you shall see. Swallowed up by the big open space of where the true calling called from. It’s the return home.

 

Copyright 2009 Joi Sharp